Frosty February
I said I was going to do these monthly, but with some much going on, I think biweekly will make more sense.
Book 4 has its structure now, and it’s voice back. My voice. What I had originally written for the opening didn’t sound like it was written by me- more of a fan fiction if I’m honest. So that’s started to find its groove, and I’ve contacted my new alpha reader, and my beta readers, setting dates and giving myself the accountability to get it done. The biggest help in me finding my voice again was song writing. It’s cleared out a lot of unnecessary junk in my head, and given me clarity within myself.
Since the coach crash, I’ve felt the need to grasp everything tighter. It was a rude awakening that everything could end within a heartbeat. This has lead me on a path to get all the negatives out my system, which also means having to find forgiveness. I don’t want the rest of my life to be anger and untrusting. Although, the mistrust is likely to remain, whether I want it to or not. I’m not forgiving people for their sake, rather my own… and it’s been liberating.
I’ve got actual morning routines now, though my eating is still all over the place. I make a habit of going into town once a week to get myself out the house and just see people. I’m quite surprised with how I’ve changed. If you put me in my current situation but 10 years ago, I would’ve been in Redhill every night, looking to fight, fuck, or drink the first thing that gets in my way. I’m not that anymore.
I’ve been looking for local kickboxing classes, and the gym too… I’ll wait until my legs have got used my current commute first.
Skyler and I have a new hangout spot for when I get home from work. Most of my parents house is wooden floors or tiles, so the stairs is the only place where she can get butt-rubs without sliding across the floor! Billy has become such a character since I’ve been letting him out now. He gets a lot of free time to roam the bedroom floor, and climbs anything in his way!
I’m happy to say, no one has control over me anymore. I’m home every night, with the family, planning and creating for the future. A lot will change, and better things will come.
Thank you for reading.
Daniel